Villainous Villains Part 5

In which our heroes - er, villains - order pizza.

And, you know, they learn some really important things too.

I'm slightly ashamed of this whole shadowy figure trope that I fall into in this part, but if there's anything I've learned from three years of screenwriting and a horrid creative writing class, it's that it's okay to be cliche. You know that's true because it rhymes.

But moving on, it took me a long while to figure out the logistics of the whole villain list, and, if being honest, I still don't' really know how it works. How does the ranking system work? Are there points?  What constitutes a great crime? Does any petty criminal get be on it or do you have to have a costume? These are things I still don't know. The rules of world-building were something I wasn't as familiar with when I wrote this and so much of writing for me, even now, is just instincts and feelings. Instead of rules and logic of a world that I plan out and follow, I get an impression of the feel of a world and I just know if something fits into it. It's kind of hard to explain because you can't feel what I feel.

I guess it's kind of like painting. You have a theme and colour scheme and you can see if a colour or element doesn't fit into it. You wouldn't put an alien in a landscape painting. But then again, that sounds like the kind of painting I'd buy.

Honestly, I just cross my fingers and hope the reader doesn't question the reason behind things too much. Use your suspension of disbelief. I believe in you.

Read Part 1 Here    Read Part 2 Here    Read Part 3 Here    Read Part 4 Here

PAGE 26

Panel 1: Spam Man, Technomancer, Brain, and Tinman run desperately towards the reader in blind panic. In the background several police cars have pulled up by the transport and Violet Shadow is being arrested.

VIOLET SHADOW: It’s okay, I’m fine! Keep running! I’ll wait for you to break me out of prison! We can be a team!

Panel 2: Spam Man, Technomancer, Brain, and Tinman run down a narrow street and duck into an alley.

Panel 3: The four of them hide, cowering, beside a dumpster in the darkened alley. The opening of the alley can be seen in the background.

Panel 4: Like Panel 3 except a police car drives by, visible in the opening of the alley.

Panel 5: The four of them relax from cowering to scared.

TECHNOMANCER: We can’t stay behind a dumpster forever, they’ll find us! We need somewhere to hide!

Panel 6: Spam Man rubs the back of his neck with one hand, reluctant to share his information.

SPAM MAN: I… might have a place.

PAGE 27

Panel 1: The four of them huddle around the door to a gritty apartment building in a dirty part of town as Spam Man tries to unlock the door with a key.

TECHNOMANCER: Hurry up!

SPAM MAN: I’m trying!

Panel 2: They walk down a stairwell inside the apartment building, everyone being extremely cautious as they go.

Panel 3: At the bottom of the staircase there is an apartment door. Spam Man unlocks it.

Panel 4: The four of them rush inside and slam the door behind them.

Panel 5: They sit against the closed door, collectively breathing a sigh of relief.

Panel 6: Everyone just sits for a moment.

SPAM MAN: I should be safe here.

PAGE 28

Panel 1: This panel shows the layout of the apartment. The room is small, dingy, and crummy looking. In one corner of the room is an old fold-up chair in front of a cheap desk with an outdated computer on it. In the middle of the room is a cheap coffee table with a TV remote sitting on it. At one end of the table is a beat-up armchair. To the side of the coffee table is a beat-up couch. Opposite the armchair, on the other side of the coffee table is an old TV sitting on a fold-up table. On the wall behind the couch, a door can be seen.

TECHNOMANCER (off-panel): Where are we?

Panel 2: The four of them still sit against the door. Spam Man stands up.

SPAM MAN: My apartment. This is where I live.

Panel 3: Technomancer, Brain, and Tinman still sit against the door and have wide-eyed looks of pretended innocence as Spam Man leans in menacingly, pointing in accusation.

SPAM MAN: And if you’re smart, you’re not gonna say anything about it.

TINMAN: I would n-never-

TECHNOMANCER: Wouldn’t even dream of-

BRAIN: Thought never even crossed my-

PAGE 29

Panel 1: Spam Man walks over by the coffee table and picks up the TV remote. He isn’t even looking at the others.

SPAM MAN: I’m glad you understand.

Panel 2: He clicks on the TV.

TECHNOMANCER: What are you doing?

SPAM MAN: There’s probably news about my escape on TV.

Panel 3: This panel is of the TV screen. It shows a news anchor sitting behind a desk and in the top right-hand corner is a picture of the overturned police transport.

NEWS ANCHOR: Our top story tonight is the escape of the team of criminal geniuses behind the heist of experimental technology from the city’s superhero headquarters. The headquarters has one of the best security systems in the country and is continuously guarded by superheroes, making a heist supposedly impossible. Captain Wonder, leader of the city’s superhero league, has made no official comment, only saying that while they managed to recover this dangerous technology, the recapture of these villains should be the top priority of both the police and the city’s superheroes.

Panel 4: The news anchor talks and the picture in the top right corner changes to a picture of Spam Man, Technomancer, Brain, and Tinman, all stylized to look more evil than they actually are.

NEWS ANCHOR: No one knows exactly where this new supervillain team came from or what their plans are, but one thing is certain: they have been labelled as extremely dangerous, earning themselves a high ranking spot on the national villain list.

Panel 5: Technomancer, Brain, and Tinman have moved in behind Spam Man, with Technomancer holding Brain. They look on at the TV in shock.

Panel 6: Same as Panel 5.

TECHNOMANCER: So… what now?

SPAM MAN: ...How about pizza?

TINMAN: P-pizza sounds good

BRAIN: I like pizza.

PAGE 30

Panel 1: Inside a dark, sinister-looking lair, a shadowed figure sits in a large chair. He watches the news broadcast about Spam Man, Technomancer, Brain, and Tinman on a very large monitor. An open door is visible on one wall.

CAPTION: Meanwhile…

NEWS ANCHOR: ...earning themselves a high ranking spot on the national villain list.

Panel 2: The masked woman cautiously peers through the open door.

MASKED WOMAN: Boss?

Panel 3: The masked woman stands sheepishly scared by the chair.

MASKED WOMAN: The part- It’s not my fault! There were heroes and these guys-

Panel 4: The shadowed figure shuts off the monitor, ignoring the masked woman.

SHADOWED FIGURE (whispering):  Him.

MASKED WOMAN: Boss?

Panel 5: The shadowed figure throws the remote at the monitor screen, sending spider web cracks through it.

SHADOWED FIGURE: Him! Always him! But this time was- Arrrggghhh!

Panel 6: He sweeps past the masked woman, noticeably calmer.

SHADOWED FIGURE: I’m moving up the schedule.

MASKED WOMAN: But the part- (gets cut off by shadowed figure)

SHADOWED FIGURE: Is no longer needed. The plan has changed. For now, we watch and wait. And work. I’m going to make them pay. I’m going to make him pay.

PAGE 31

Panel 1: Close up of Spam Man looking annoyed.

SPAM MAN: Yeah. I’m not paying for this.

Panel 2: An upset teenage pizza delivery boy stands in front of the open door to Spam Man’s apartment. Spam Man leans out of the door and holds a couple pizza boxes in his hands.

DELIVERY BOY: Seriously?

Panel 3: Spam Man angrily talks to the pizza delivery boy.

SPAM MAN: Don’t you watch the news? I’m a famous villain. Of course I’m not going to pay for pizza! Now scram!

Panel 4: Spam Man slams the door.

Panel 5: The delivery boy slumps in dejection.

DELIVERY BOY: Man…

To be continued...